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27 items

Mug

Not a Morning Person

For the human who considers eye contact before 10am an act of war.

$18

Mug

Still Not a People Person

Coffee helps. People don't.

$18

Mug

Zero Fucks Given

A brave little ceramic statement of your remaining give-a-damn.

$18

Mug

Nice Try, Idiot

Drink your coffee. Judge silently. Repeat.

$18

Mug

I'm Fine. Everything Is Fine.

The most relatable lie, now on ceramic.

$18

Mug

Coffee First. Tolerance Later.

A reasonable schedule for an unreasonable world.

$18

Birthday

Happy Birthday, You Old Prick

Because 'many happy returns' doesn't really hit the same.

$7

Birthday

Another Year Closer to Death

Celebrate the inevitable in style.

$7

Anniversary

Somehow Still Tolerating You

Love is patience. And selective hearing.

$7

Valentine's Day

You're Stuck With Me

Romance with a hostage-energy undertone.

$7

Congratulations

Congrats, You're Tolerable

Highest praise we hand out before 5pm.

$7

Get Well

Stop Being Sick. It's Annoying.

Tough love in folded paper form.

$7

Sympathy

Yeah… This Sucks.

No platitudes. Just honesty and a stamp.

$7

I'm Sorry

Fine. I Was Wrong.

The hardest four words, professionally printed.

$7

Friendship

You're My Favorite Weirdo

A compliment. Probably.

$7

Christmas

Merry Whatever

For the holiday-neutral and chronically over it.

$7

New Year's

Same You, New Year

Resolutions are just disappointments with a deadline.

$7

Mother's Day

I'm Your Favorite. Admit It.

We both know it. Card just says it out loud.

$7

Father's Day

Thanks for the Bad Jokes

And the questionable life advice. Mostly.

$7

Graduation

Welcome to Debt!

You did it. Now pay for it.

$7

Retirement

Go Take a Nap, You Earned It

Forever. We're not jealous. We are.

$7

Other Nonsense

PissedMark Sticker Pack

Five vinyl stickers for your laptop, water bottle, or enemy's car.

$12

Other Nonsense

Emotional Baggage Tote

Carry your groceries and your unresolved issues in style.

$22

Other Nonsense

Resting Pissed Face Pin

An enamel pin that says what your face already does.

$9

Other Nonsense

Tiny Butt Keychain

A miniature shaking butt to jingle along with your keys.

$8

Other Nonsense

Pissed Mark Classic Tee

Soft cotton, loud attitude. Wear your mood.

$28

Other Nonsense

Petty Thoughts Notebook

120 lined pages for grudges, grocery lists, and grievances.

$15