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Because 'many happy returns' doesn't really hit the same.
Celebrate the inevitable in style.
Love is patience. And selective hearing.
Romance with a hostage-energy undertone.
Highest praise we hand out before 5pm.
Tough love in folded paper form.
No platitudes. Just honesty and a stamp.
The hardest four words, professionally printed.
A compliment. Probably.
For the holiday-neutral and chronically over it.
Resolutions are just disappointments with a deadline.
We both know it. Card just says it out loud.
And the questionable life advice. Mostly.
You did it. Now pay for it.
Forever. We're not jealous. We are.
